To · Be · Forgiven

Just to note: My resolutions begin in February ;)

Actually I had my laptop stolen recently and it has created quite the distress. Only as time goes on do I realize what's missing and what's gone forever. My faith in my fellow man is shaken at the moment, but I also hold true to karma so I will take some comfort in that. That's all for today - I have too much to do; collecting the missing pieces and all.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all.
I know I've been such a lazy bastard when it comes to updating this thing but my New Year's resolution will be to write much more often; and not just quantity, but to get down to some quality writing.

In the meantime; play safe and enjoy the festive season.

See you all in January of 2006.

Yes it's true, I haven't been writing in my journal for quite some time, but I do have a good excuse. Every other day has been the same; stressful, and each day in between those has also been the same; more stressful. I don't feel like writing, and I don't feel like talking about anything. Perhaps winter having arrived has put my mood down the drain, among other things, but that's life.. and that's all for now.

Mondays can go one of two ways, and neither are generally good, at least not in my experiences. Some may use the "glass half full" viewpoint and think to themselves that Monday represents the beginning of a new week of possibilities; but i've discovered over time that Monday really just brings along all the shit from the previous week that was neither completed or simply proscrinated upon... either way you're fucked.

Today is Monday.

We haven't seen much sunshine here in about 2 weeks, but we've certainly seen rain... pailfuls of it. The sun did peak it's rays out this morning, but really only to tease, give the finger to us all, and hide behind the clouds again. What a tease.

Today is Monday.

It's only 2:50pm and already the days feels like it's 24 hours old. I just know something good is coming this way but it will most likely wait until tomorrow, because something good doesn't like Mondays either.

Today is Monday.

Tomorrow will be Tuesday... I just know it :)

It's very grey outside, as it has been for days on end. The weather is turning colder by the minute, the sun makes no effort, and the rain continues to drizzle its way to the ground. Again winter is making its promise to invade and cover us for months. The trees know this and are dropping their leafy blankets quickly; readying themselves for the onslaught of white. I stare out the window without a smile, not even a grin, past the horizon seeking something warm that may be found in the distance beyond my vision. It seems hopeless to hope that this could be an illusion. That perhaps it's just a spell of cold that will pass quickly by leaving us with blue skies and greener hills. Not so lucky.

Mood lies heavily upon everyone around as we all seek a break in the fog. To cut through this somehow would be a blessing, but nobody, or no one, hears this quiet prayer. Trudge on. Trudge on.

I'm lazy and I know it - well only when it comes to writing in my live journal. I feel so ashamed when so much time passes and I haven't written anything. But i do have a good excuse - things have been sick hectic and the hours long... very long. My good news of the week is that I finally bit the bullet and bought a new car. So that's that.

Other than that I can't believe how fast the weather is changing as we push into Autumn. It's raining constantly and the temperature is bloody chilly. I'm reminded at this time of year just how much I hate a dread the coming of winter. The only thing i like about it is wearing nice sweaters and coats and not dying of heat when putting on the suit for meetings and such. Other than that winter can kiss my ass. I really hope all this work pays off so I can consider the idea of moving elsewhere. Somewhere warm to make either a permanent residence or at least for 5 months during the winter. I'm thinking Tuscany... good wine and better food. Ahhhh Tuscany.

Alright I haven't updated in a while, but C'est la vie. I can't believe how busy the last couple weeks have been. I'm keeping this short... and in short the week has been both shit and great rolled up into one big... well something that's rolled. I've started writing again (almost daily) so that's a good thing. Helps take me away, far away, from the stresses of the businesses.

And that's it that' all for today. It's Friday, i'm taking the afternoon off, hitting the pub with a buddy to sit back an enjoy a couple of well deserved and earned pints.

Cheers!

Today I have a new outlook on life; that is to live it like every moment should be lived. To live it like this could be the very last, or even the beginning of something old or something new.

Whether or not there is some design to this is irrelevant now. All the things I couldn't see before will now be seen. Everything that was just background noise can now come forward so I can breath it in. Life has been moving at the speed of light and for too long have been watching the spectacle. Now I jump in.

Cheers all.

Ok. I haven't bought a car yet.. I can't even narrow it down to 3 models. This is becoming a test of patience for new car vs old car. Maybe one of those free ones left at the side of highways will do :D Kind of like the free umbrellas you find in bins at various coffee houses and such :p

It's a beautiful Monday here today - Sunny, hot and no humidity (or at least very minimal.) Good day to take a stroll through the park... not a bad idea.... and I'm off to the park!

Well it's time to buy a new car. Exciting as hell, but scary too. Such an investment, and the timing is odd to be investing in anything, but hey.

Now I just need to psych myself up for dealing with the sale-people at the dealerships..... hmmmm. Soon as you walk in they're all over you. I find that screaming obscenities and waving my hands in the air hysterically, scares them off long enough for you to actually look at a couple cars on your own... but that's just me ;)

Thanks God gas prices are so fucking high. I'd hate to actually enjoy a new vehicle enough to take it for a all day drive.

At least it's sunny today.

Not a half bad day here in Montreal today. Things have gotten a lot less humid lately (and not just weather-wise.) I have to say that today I feel somewhat refreshed and anew. Life is looking like it's following some design today, so i'm gonna stick to it to see where this leads.

...i choose to do what I choose.

Alright - so I'm happy again. The GF has returned from her trip to visit her family overseas, and there is serenity once again. We have also been throwing around the idea of moving to Europe - not in the immediate future but perhaps within the next year or two. I think we've both had enough of Montreal's psudo-European flare and are itching for the real thing. The possibilites at this stage are Italy, France, and London, although I'm sure we'll add a couple more as time goes on. For her this is a breeze as she already speaks the languages of those countries plus a couple more for good measure. Myself, it's English and French (although somewhat broken.) I have a feeling there will be some serious learnings for me, and I really have a hard time with languages. But, it's a small price to pay if we can actually up our careers/businesses here and move them there, or at least have something fulfilling already waiting for us. Now i'm excited.

Oh Journal,

I know I haven't written in some time, but i am under too much pressure at the moment and don't have the patience to actually write about anything that could in any way seem inspirational to either myself, or any poor sod who comes along and happens to read this. Fitting that it's grey and raining outside cause it feels that way inside as well.

Anyway, enough of this for now. Let me return when i'm on top.

Cheers.

As the title says - i'm exhausted. It's so damn hot that I can't sleep, and so i'm not. But now i'm sitting here, it's only 5:12 in the evening, i'm dying to go cycling but I barely have the energy to take a deep breath. So i'm afraid that's all for today. zzzzZZZzzz

Alright, so i've tied-one-on (so the expression goes,) last night... and even into this morning. Sometimes running into old friends can really fuck-up your evening; and by that I mean that I intended only to stay out for a couple of hours..... Well, here it is at 6:16AM and I have yet to go to bed. I came home at a decent hour, but I just can't seem to drag myself off to bed. I'm thinking this might be a good time to become reclusive for a couple weeks, but then again.. ;)

Last night was difficult. The GF left for her trip and the good-bye at the airport was heart-wrenching to say the least. Thus I made my way downtown for a quick business meeting and then some R&R with friends, which as above, well, you know the result. How the hell people convinced me to stay up so late on a Thursday night i'll never know, but at least it helped take my mind off the empty house I had to return to. Sleeping is pointless at this stage, and besides, the bed is empty. There was a time when I would curse myself for feeling so attached to someone but you know what... when you've found the person that truly fulfills you, being apart from them is bloody painful. So here I sit knocking off sentences in my Live Journal in the hopes that seeing words on the screen will somehow be of comfort. I think the cats are out-of-sorts too, wondering where "Mommy" is. Incredible how they sense sadness and know just the right moment to snuggle-up. Good puddies.

Well today is a rough day. My girlfriend is leaving for 20 days for Europe to visit family <- that's not what's rough btw. The missing each other part is what's rough. We don't do well when we're apart for more than a couple days, as the loneliness starts to set in. A little sucky I know, but it is what it is. What can I say, we have one hell of a bond.

Flight is at 4:35pm

I'm not looking forward to this.

Well I for one.
Here's Lulu (she's the black cat,) and Dolce. It's amazing how one can find serenity in the simple movement of petting a cat. No matter how crappy your day is, the gentle swoon of a purring feline can bring a smile to your face, and a rhythm to your heartbeat that slows life down. Sappy, perhaps, but hey I love my cats.

The last one there is about 8 months old. Dolce was just a little pud at that point - and curious as hell.

Other than that it's Monday, and I really don't like Mondays.

Cheers.